


Heaven is where your heart is

by mishncas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Fix-It, Implied/Referenced Suicidal Thoughts, M/M, Season/Series 15, Series Finale, Spoilers for Episode: s15e20 Carry On, fuck them writers, i hate every single thing about it except dean and miracle, i hate the finale, spn series finale, they are canon, this fic is my canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:48:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27655034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mishncas/pseuds/mishncas
Summary: "I cannot believe you- you died-" Cas's voice breaks and he looks away. The sadness in his eyes and the drooping shoulder urges Dean to hug him but he resists. For now."But it got me here. To you." Dean replies and a small smile appears as Cas's head snaps back to face him.This is a fix-it fic of the time between Dean driving the baby in heaven and Sam's death from old age.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 7
Kudos: 59





	Heaven is where your heart is

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first fix-it fic of the series finale because I pretend I didn't see the last ten minutes of the episode. Hopefully, y'all will like it. I'm still processing what happened to Dean but tbh, Dean isn't someone who can die from a nail So here I wrote my theory about it. 
> 
> TW// implied suicidal thoughts

Dean presses on the brake, stopping Baby. His eyes take in the view outside the windshield. A lonely man standing on the edge of the dock, looking at the nature surrounding them- a lake, calm as a sleeping lion and a forest so thick one might get lost if they don't have a guardian angel with them. Dean gets out of the Impala and shuts the door with a resonating sound. But it's not enough to make the man turn around. He's wearing a beige trenchcoat which looks heavy and loose on his body. His hands are stuffed inside the pockets. 

_Thud. Thud. Thud._ Dean's heart beats wildly- it's ironic since he's only here because it has already stopped beating- as he approaches the man. Walking up to the man, Dean stops beside him and looks ahead. A breeze passes, making the leaves of the trees of the forest rustle. 

"Hello, Dean."

A sentence. Two words. Nine letters. That's all he has wanted to hear. That's all he has _needed_ to hear since the moment the empty gobbled up his best friend... his Cas.

Dean turns to face Castiel, who is now watching him with the same intensity in his mesmerizing blue yes he always watched him with since the day he'd walked into that barn 12 years ago. Dean's stomach twists as Cas's eyes roam all over his frame. Dean doesn't know what he's searching for. However, he's not gonna say anything. What if he says something which upsets Cas? What if he leaves him? Again?

"A nail."

"Huh?" Cas's deep voice startles Dean.

"A nail on the wall. That's all it took to take your life?" Cas asks in a serious voice. 

_Shit._

"Uh... yes?"

Cas's nose flares with anger and it makes Dean wanna take a step back _and_ go closer to him simultaneously.

"I cannot believe you- you died-" Cas's voice breaks and he looks away. The sadness in his eyes and the drooping shoulder urges Dean to hug him but he resists. For now.

"But it got me here. To you." Dean replies and a small smile appears as Cas's head snaps back to face him. 

"So you just give up?"

"No, I - I had a chance at a normal life. I had a job opportunity. I even had a dog. But I realized how empty my life was even though it had my brother and a pet. I realized how I had to convince myself to get up from bed so that I can move on. I realized it doesn't matter how much normalcy I have in my life if I don't have you in it. It doesn't matter at all."

"Wha-" Cas clears his throat, "What do you mean?" 

Dean rolls his eyes and takes a step closer to Cas, "It means that if you thought you could just leave me in the world and go away, then you are _fucking_ wrong," Suddenly emotions- _feelings_ \- pressed in the core of his heart comes bubbling up as if they cannot be repressed anymore, they will not be anymore, "If you thought you- you would just say 'I love you Dean' and let the empty take you, and if you thought you would just say goodbye to me and get snatched outta existence, then you are outta your goddamn mind. And what did you think? What the fuck did you think? You would let that son of a bitch take you and I would accept it? I would live on and have a happy fucking life? Then you don't know me at all," Dean runs out of breath by the time he's finished talking. He takes deep breaths and realizes there are tears pooling in his eyes. He blinks, hoping they would go away.

Cas shifts closer to him and now they are only a foot apart. The tips of their shoes touch each other and Dean can feel the warmth radiating from Cas.

"I know you. I know you from the tip of a single hair on your head to the very fragment of your toenail. I know your soul, your heart, and your mind." 

"Lies. You are telling me lies," Dean rasps.

"No, Dea-"

"Then why yo didn't know that I love you too?" Dean almost yells, being done with everything. He is finally in heaven. Finally with Cas. There's nothing that can stop him from saying the things he wants to say. Doing things he wants to do.

Cas's face turns a bit blank and a small downcast smile graces his chapped lips, "I know, Dean. I know you love me like a brother."

If Dean wasn't dead, he would have died right now, right here, "Brother?" He manages to choke up.

"Yes. Remember you said I'm like a brother to you? Before you went to Amara with the soul bomb?"

"I- I thought you- you didn't love me. Not like _that_." Dean whispers the last part, glancing down at his shoes. Then he turns his eyes to his best friend, "you know you are fucking dumbass." Cas's confused head tilt makes Dean snort. He leans forward, his face only a few inches away from Cas's. He can see the black specks in Cas's eyes. The depth of the blue in his iris. He can feel the hot breath of his best friend on his lips.

"Tell me, Castiel. When I touched your face after you recovered from Rowena's rabid dog spell-" Dean raises his hand to caress Cas's face, "- did you think I think of you as a brother? When I made you watch movies with me, sitting close to all night-" He slipped his hands into Cas's hands, feeling him getting still at his touch, "- did you think I do it with my brother?" 

Cas doesn't respond. He doesn't seem to even breathe. So Dean continues, "When you got stabbed by Lucifer, I mourned. I mounted like someone who lost his love. Who lost his everything. Who _just_ lost." Dean closes his eyes, feeling too much. When he opens them again, he finds tears rolling down Cas's eyes. The sight makes him feel like he's getting stabbed in his heart. Not hesitating even a little bit, he wraps his arms around Cas. He buries his nose in the crook of Cas's neck, smelling the familiar earthy and fresh smell which reminds him of rain and Cas.

"Please don't cry, Cas. I cannot bear it."

"Dean-"

"No, you don't have to say anything, except 'I love you'," Dean whispers in Cas's ears, feeling arms band around his waist. 

"I love you, Dean Winchester." Cas's voice is breathy and deep and everything Dean wants.

"I love you too, Castiel." Dean's own voice is filled with joy and peace and everything which should be in his story. Because since Chuck got defeated, Dean has been planning for this moment. For this ending. for this happily ever after.

***

"Heaven, I'm in heaven-" Dean's voice croons in Cas's ears as they sway together in their small kitchen. Miracle is snoring at the corner of the kitchen.

After Dean reunited with Cas in the dock, they went to the house Cas lives in. It's a small cottage, filled with warmth and homeliness. They figure things out. They laugh at each other, laugh with each other. They bicker as usual. but it's filled with love and affection. They build a life together, standing side by side. Their loved ones, especially Jack, visit them sometimes. Cas has work to do too. He is still helping Jack to improve everything. Dean often jokes how he's the Robin to Jack's Batman.

One day, they heard a backing sound and Dean opened the front door to find Miracle the dog standing on the porch, wagging tail at a high speed and tongue hanging out. Dean actually cried as he hugged his dog while Cas stood beside him with a soft smile.

"-and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak," Dean stops humming, squeezing Cas's waist. This is the indication from him to let Cas continue the singing, who rolls his eyes. Dean seems to enjoy poking fun at Cas's Enochian songs so he always tries to make Cas sing English songs too.

"- And I seem to find the happiness I seek when we're out together dancing, cheek to cheek," Cas says in a normal monotonous voice, just like he used to when he was a 'warrior of the Lord who wasn't on earth to perch on Dean's shoulder'."

Dean snorts and untangles himself from his lover and pecks on his cheek, "You are such a dork."

"Says you who is singing an old song about being in heaven while he's in heaven," Cas sasses, turning to open the oven and check on the apple pie he's baking. 

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever, angel." Cas snorts and fusses with the baking tray.

Suddenly, Dean stops moving. Then with a soft sigh, Dean moves to walk to the front door.

"Where are you going?" Cas asks, his eyes squinted with curiosity.

"Going to a drive. And to bring my brother home."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. If anyone wants to scream about deancas, find me in twitter- @romanscallie


End file.
